Operation GIRLY and Operation GAMES
by Darkton93
Summary: In GIRLY, the world is swept by the sensation of... Rainbow Monkeys? In GAMES, simple children's games stop being fun when your soul is on the line! GAMES: JoJo Parody. Both: No Arc.
1. Operation GIRLY

**-Pre-Reading Notes-**

 **Hypothetical Voice Cast:**

 **Lucy Fur: Grey Griffin**

* * *

Now Loading:  
Kids Next Door Mission

Operation: G.I.R.L.Y.

Girl's  
Intertainment  
Really  
Lovely…  
Yep

Writing Operatives:  
Lieutenant Darkton

Original Mission Director:  
Mr. Warburton

A Rainbow Monkey T-shirt. A Rainbow Monkey "Root Beer" hat. A TV Time Rainbow Monkey. These were the essential elements Numbuh 3 brought with her for the big day. In the TV Room of the Treehouse, Numbuh 2 and 4 were watching the newest Japanese Cartoon about a loudmouth ninja when she burst through the door.

"Outta the way, guys!" Numbuh 3 interjected. "It's time for the new Rainbow Monkey series!"

Numbuh 2 and 4 shot her a mean look.

"…please?"

"No can do, Kuki," Numbuh 4 said. "There's a marathon of this show goin' on, and I don't wanna miss any of it-"

"Here," Numbuh 2 said, handing her the remote.

"YAAAY!" Numbuh 3 shouted.

"Hey, gimme that!" Numbuh 4 snatched the remote. "I told you, I don't wanna miss anything!"

"This show's pretty boring anyway," Numbuh 2 said. "I never did like Japanimation."

"What're you talking about? This show's AWESOME! It's got lots a cool fights, and, and the characters look cool, and…"

"And the main character's annoying and not even the main character. And what about all those flashbacks? You'll never get that out of a good ol' American comic."

"Oh, I guess you're right. Tell me, how often do they repeat the villain's origin story every time they bring him up?"

"That's just for the benefit of the reader!"

"Well, so are the flashbacks!"

"I believe we can work out a solution," Numbuh 1 said. "I've turned on the TV in the Monitor Room to the proper channel, you two can watch your marathon in there after next commercial break."

"I'm done anyway," Numbuh 2 said, heading off in his own direction. "Have fun, Numbuh 3."

"Whatever," said Numbuh 4, shambling over to the Monitor Room.

"Thanks, Numbuh 1!" Numbuh 3 said. "Why'd you help me anyway?"

Numbuh 1 began whispering in Numbuh 3's ear. "Just between you and me, I kinda like the older Rainbow Monkeys."

"YOU LIKE RAINB-" Numbuh 3 couldn't say the rest due to Numbuh 1 cupping his hand over her mouth.

" _Inside voice_!" he whispered harshly, "It's starting now."

A tapestry-like mural unfolded to reveal four elegantly dressed Rainbow Monkeys, very different in style than all Monkeys that came before. "Once upon a time," the female narrator began, "there was a council of four Rainbow Monkeys. Spring Bloom Rainbow Monkey ushered in the spring. Summer Glow Rainbow Monkey brought forth the summer. Autumn Leaves Rainbow Monkey moved on to fall, and Winter Wonderland Rainbow Monkey concluded the day with the winter. Together, these four Rainbow Monkeys served as the Council of Seasons."

Autumn Leaves Rainbow Monkey's eyes began to glow red. "However, Autumn Leaves began to feel unappreciated, as while others had cause to celebrate the other seasons, Autumn was only met with apathy. She was hurt, feeling alone and unappreciated. So, one day she refused to produce the red leaves of autumn. The council tried to talk her out of it, but in her resentment Autumn Leaves' heart turned her into a horrifying primate of darkness, Fall."

A group of five banana slice gems began to fuse into one. "Having run out of options, the Council of Seasons gathered powerful magic artifacts known as the Wish Stones, and using their power, banished Fall to the earth. The other Monkeys began to take turns deciding who would be the proper Rainbow Monkey to usher in Winter from that day forward." The last words began to fade into a bookish Rainbow Monkey named Library Laughs Rainbow Monkey.

"Hmm… where have I heard this before? And what's all this doing in my history textbook?"

The opening music started to play, and though it began like a traditional Rainbow Monkey theme music, it transitioned into a preppy pop song whose lyrics were extoling the values of teamwork. This new title sequence introduced the Five Rainbow Monkeys, and concluded with the title "Rainbow Monkeys: Teamwork Rules!"

The pilot went on for a good while and then ended with a cliffhanger where a menacing Fall had returned. Numbuh 3 was giddy as usual. "WHOO-HOO! BEST RAINBOW MONKEYS EVER!"

"You know… I have to actually agree with you, Numbuh 3! This was pretty good!" Numbuh 1 said. "I mean, for a girls show, it didn't feel… girly."

"I'm gonna share it with Numbuh 5!"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down, Numbuh 3. We need to ease them into this. Forcing them to watch won't make this any better for them."

Numbuh 4 stepped out at just that moment for a snack, when he caught wind of a conversation between Numbuh 1 and Numbuh 3. They were talking about… Rainbow Monkeys?

"Ha, ha! Numbuh 1 likes Rainbow Dorkies!" Numbuh 4 said.

"That's not really something to be ashamed of this time," Numbuh 1 said.

"Look, this is just a thing. No one's ever gonna remember this after it's over."

 ** _Two seasons later…_**

The newspapers, which read "GIRLS SHOW NOW NUMBER ONE SHOW IN AMERICA", begged to differ.

As Numbuh 4 walked though the halls at school, he noticed that all the conversations he overheard were about one thing: Rainbow Monkeys. Students talked about topics like who was their favorite character, which episode was the best, and why the other person's opinion was wrong and theirs was right, you know, typical fan guff. "Why the crud are Rainbow Monkeys so popular?" Numbuh 4 thought out loud.

He was later grabbed by a male student wearing black with a skull shirt. "Hey, you!," the boy said in a raspy voice. "You look like a non-Rainbow Monkey-liking guy. Wanna join our club?"

Numbuh 4, caught off guard responded nervously, "Heh, heh, count me in!"

A heavy metal anthem preluded the club meeting. Boys dressed in heavy metal or sarcastic themed T-shirts or just generally black gathered around in a room filled with posters of terrible things happening to last-gen Rainbow Monkeys, like having all their stuffing ripped out. There was even a Rainbow Monkey doll head stuck on a toothpick.

"Dudes," the club leader droned, "This meeting of the I Hate Rainbow Monkeys club will now come to order. As you know, Rainbow Monkeys have somehow become the number one show in America. The toys sell like crazy, forums are dominated with their guff, and whole conventions are made around them. People even dress like them," he shuddered.

"You mean like Furries?" a member interjected.

He shuddered again, even harder. "Exactly, and just like the Furries, this is just a flash in the pan. Now, we looked through a bunch of data on the show, and we have concluded that its creator, Lucy Fur, has created this show for one purpose only: to control the minds of boys and turn them into girls."

"So are we gonna stop the cuteness of Shrinking Violet Rainbow Monkey?"

A silence filled the room.

"You…" the leader asked, "you _know_ her name?"

"No! Well, yes. I saw an episode once. And-and and I hated it, I mean therewasnothinggoodaboutit!"

"HE'S BEEN BRAINWASHED!" another member shrieked.

"Focus, focus!" the leader shouted. "Bring in the metal!" Another member carried in a pimped out boombox, hit the play button, and loud heavy metal started blaring through the speakers, drowning out all other thoughts. "Just remember," yelled the leader. "You hate girls! They have cooties! Remember your upbringing! You must like boy stuff and only boy stuff! Remember what it means to be a boy!"

Numbuh 5 burst in. "WHAT'S ALL THAT RACKET ABOUT?! NO ONE CAN HEAR THEMSELVES THINK!" She turned off the metal. "What is this club, anyway?" She asked as she looked around. She saw the anti-Rainbow Monkey posted all around, and sighed. "Don't you think you're judging this show a bit too roughly?"

"It's a girls' show! It's been stupid for years!"

"Yeah, well it's gotten a lot better. The characters are actually really good, the stories aren't stupid and…"

"They got you too?!" Numbuh 4 said. "But you're the cool one!"

"And this show's pretty cool, too! Well, only pretty, but it's not stupid."

"Don't listen to her!" The leader said. "She's a girl, and she's only gonna trick you into enjoying something you shouldn't like!"

Numbuh 5 sighed. "Alright. Since you won't listen to reason, maybe you'll listen to force!"

The members of the club were now strapped into chairs buckled in with eyes taped open. Numbuhs 2 and 1 were manning the projection booth connected with a DVR. "We didn't wanna have to do this, but since you insist on doing this the hard way…" Numbuh 2 trailed off…

"Numbuh 5! Activate the video!" Numbuh 1 barked.

Numbuh 5 brought up the DVR menu and prepared to select the epiode.

"No! You can't do this to us!" Numbuh 4 protested, trying to struggle against his bonds. "We're boys! We don't wanna be girls!"

Numbuh 5's cursor hovered over the first episode. "Sorry," she said, "but it's the only way."

"No…"

Numbuh 5 selected the episode…

"No!"

…which was met with the option to play it…

" _No_!"

…and she selected play.

" _NOOOOOOO_!"

Minutes in, the kids stood in awe as a blue Rainbow Monkey named Lightning Flash zipped around the neighborhood, doing athletic things, and generally being awesome. And Numbuh 4 and the club members were smiling!

"What'd I tell ya?" she said in a cool, tomboyish voice. "Five. Flippin'. Seconds."

Shortly afterwards, the episode was over, and the boys were released from their bonds.

Staggering out of his chair, Numbuh 4 said "That was… awesome? Decent?"

"I don't get it! How can something made for girls be so good?!" another member of the Boys Club exclaimed.

"MY FAITH IN MY BOYHOOD IS RUINED!" the leader screamed.

"Don't worry, guys," said the boy who knew all along about the show. "It only gets better. The season premiere for Season 2 has the guy who plays Puck from Gargoyles voicing a guy who's just like Puck! Flippin! Puck!"

"You know what, I oughtta start watching this show more often! Next time you've got an episode, let me know!" Numbuh 4 said cheerfully.

 _ **One week later…**_

Numbuh 4 got out of his room, ready for a new day. "Ah, Saturday! The best day ever. And there's a new episode of that show ready, ain't… there?"

He was confronted by the sight of Numbuh 1 before him, wearing instead of his usual aviator sunshades, pink tinted star-rimmed shades. Fabulous!

"Uh, Numbuh 1, what're you wearing?"

"Oh," he said in a silky tone, "I'm trying something new! I got the idea after the Season 2 finale."

"I… see…"

"Oh, hey!" exclaimed Numbuh 5, who was not only wearing a dress, but one that went down to her ankles, and spoke in an even cheerier voice than usual. "It's starting! The Season 3 premiere!"

Numbuh 4 shuffled over. "Whatever. Let's get busy!" He sat down with the rest of the group, who, with the exception of Numbuh 3, were dressed in a more frou-frou manner than usual. The episode started…

…and to Numbuh 4's horror, it was more feminine than usual. The colors were more pastel, the opening was more like the old one, and it was much girlier. Numbuh 4 only lasted a few seconds before running out of the room screaming.

"Hm… that's different. Some people just don't learn," Numbuh 2 said.

Numbuh 4 proceeded to wash his eyes out with soap. "Ugh. What was that?" he asked himself. "I don't remember the show being that… girly!" He then stopped, and realized something important. "OH CRUD! I GOT SOAP IN MY EYES ON PURPOSE! I'M AN IDIOT!" He fell to the floor, clawing at his eyes, trying to get the soap out.

After he recovered, he walked to the phone line with bloodshot eyes. "Gotta make sure no one else is suffering." He called the number of a member of the former I Hate Rainbow Monkeys club. "Oi! You alright, pal?"

"He-e-ey! How ya doing, friend! Heehee!" the member said, also in a girlier voice.

"Uh… hi. Did you happen to catch the latest episode of Rainbow Monkeys?"

"Watching it now! Why?"

"Okay… well, you have fun with that! Smell ya later!" he slammed the phone down. "Hm… looks like this thing is widespread. Gotta figure out what's goin' on."

He logged on his kit-bashed computer and brought up a search engine. He typed in 'maker of new rainbow monkey show' and got a lot of hits. Most importantly, he found a telephone number for Lucy Fur.

"Bingo." He entered the number into his phone.

"Hello, you've reached the Kid-Tacular Kid's Channel! How can I help you?"

"Get me the maker of Rainbow Monkeys. I've got a piece of my mind I wanna share with her."

"Certainly."

After a dial tone, a sickeningly sweet girly voice answered over the line. "Hi!" she warbled. "You've reached Lucy Fur…"

"Oi! What've ya done with my awesome…"

"…'s answering machine! I'm not here right now, so leave a message after the beep! 'Kay love ya, buh bye!"

"Argh! Fine."

"To make an appointment, press 1. Para espanol, press dos. To mark this message as urgent, press 3 and wait for the beep."

"Might just do that."

"After the beep, please wait for the beep."

"Or not."

"To request an interview, press 4. For other options, press 5."

"Give me the beep!"

"If you're with a convention, press 6. If you are with any other official or press staff, press 7."

"COME ON!"

"To send a fax, press 8. To send a text, press 9."

"Why do these adult message thingies always have to be so complex?!"

"To request a biography interview. Press 10."

"THERE _IS_ NO TEN, YOU BUTTHEAD!"

Time passed, and Numbuh 4 was still waiting. "To request a cameo in the show, press Eleventy bahmillion and 12."

"I HATE YOU!"

Finally, the beep showed up.

"OI! WHAT'VE YOU DONE WITH MY…"

"I'm sorry, this person's inbox is full."

Numbuh 4 groaned and hit his head on the desk. "Well, there's always the old fashion way."

Using a mirror repurposed into a GPS, Numbuh 4 found the home of Lucy Fur. It was an elegant, classic style home, yet had an air of feminity to it. After shuttling and avoiding many secretaries and personal assistants, he came at last to a voluptuously appointed office, and there was Lucy Fur, a curvaceous woman in a casual outfit and long blue hair. She looked up at him with a mischievous grin as he entered. "Hello! How can I help you?"

"Don't give me that, ya girly show-ruiner! I wanna know what happened to the one good Rainbow Monkey show. What'd you do to it? What'd you do to all the boys?"

Her tone immediately took on an evil twist. "Simple, really. I placed subliminal messages into the show. An advanced mind-control frequency. What it accomplished was to remap the brain, slowly overwriting the minds of the boys and boyish girls and turning them into girly ones. And soon I will use it to overwrite their bodies and chromosomes as well, turning them into 100% girls, and then the male gender will be completely extinct! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! But you… you're different. For some reason, you're immune to the process. My guess is that you're just too much of a boy to be affected by the rays. You're interesting. I'd like to study you a bit more."

"Ya lost your right to do that after that laugh of yours, which, by the way, when I reverse the process, I'm gonna show to the boys of the world." He brought up a tape recorder.

"What the… where did you get that?!"

"Yeah, turns out with all the conspiracies going on and things looking good but turning out to be evil, I've gotten a little used to this. This time I'm gonna nip it in the bud!"

He carefully pocketed his recorder, but when he looked back at her, he noticed she was running away.

"Argh! I talk too much, I guess." He gave chase. Since Fur had a head start, it was harder for Numbuh 4 to catch her. However, he came across a door in a dead end. "Alright, let's see what's behind door number one!" He kicked down the door.

Behind it was a broom closet, and inside it was Lucy Fur, bound and gagged.

"Ahah! Got yourself stuck trying to use somethin' meant for me, eh? You girls ain't so tough."

Fur tried to say something emphatically, but couldn't make anything out.

"If you've got somethin' to say, say it clearer." He pulled off the gag.

"I'm not the girl you're looking for!" Lucy said in a firm, more gender-neutral voice.

"You're not the girl I'm looking for? But aren't you Lucy Fur?"

"That's just it! _I_ am, she's not!"

"You're gonna have to do better than that. How do I know this isn't a trap?"

"Look. When I was a little girl, I used to have some older generation Rainbow Monkeys. But I didn't like the show that was made for it, so I made up my own adventures for them, sending them on epic quests to save the world."

Numbuh 4 paused. "Alright, that's a start. But what are you doing here? What's the real story with you?"

"Well, in the future, girls' entertainment will reach something of a plateau. They will eventually become so awful that a war between the sexes will break out. In the end, all feminine culture will be destroyed, and girls will become second class citizens with no role-models. I came back in time to stop this by creating my own TV show, and what better way to make it mainstream by having it be one of the most popular girls' shows ever?"

"And it worked… until the faker showed up."

"She must've found the time machine I used. She replaced me around the end of Season 2. We've got to find her!"

"Way ahead of you. Say, you got any futuristic tracking devices?"

"Can't help you there, but I think I know where she might be."

"Good enough! Let's move it!" He untied her and the two rushed off.

They travelled throughout the house, its design looking less feminine the deeper they went, until they finally came across a room that was filled with old action figures and TV memorabilia. Inside was the fake Lucy Fur.

"Of course," the real Lucy said. "The one place we'd never think to look in such a girly residence. The one room too gender-neutral to change. The one with all the toys I used to play with." She walked through the room, lovingly stroking the toys. "You know, you're pretty clever. Take a show everyone was watching, put yourself in charge of it, and then fill it with mind control broadcasts. I still have no idea what you'd get from all this, since you'd be made a second class citizen, too."

"Nonsense!" the fake Fur said. "I'd turn all the girls into boys, making the boys second class. I've been under the thumb of boys for too long, so I'd like to make things right! I thought you'd be happy, as a feminist."

"You're not a feminist! You're a misandrist! All we true feminists want is equality! You just want to place yourself over everyone else, _Margie_!"

"Margie… Madam Margaret?!" Numbuh 4 said.

Margie took off her disguise, revealing that since he last dealt with her, she had grown into a teenager.

"You know her?" Lucy asked.

"She tried this kinda stunt before, and I stopped her then. Don't remember her being this old, though."

"I'm from the future, you stupid boy!" Margie said. "Not that it matters. You have no idea what it's like to be put down by boys every year, to have the word 'girly' be a bad thing!"

"I do! And I did something good with my life! I tried to make things better!" Lucy said.

"And I'm trying to make things better, too!"

"FOR YOU! You're just making things better for you!"

"This clearly isn't going anywhere. I'll just have to use force! These Rainbow Monkey dolls have been augmented with technology from the future. They're now an army of drones! Robot army! Stop them!"

Nothing happened.

"I said, Robot army… stop them!"

"Here, let me try," Lucy said. "Robot army, stop her."

The toys turned on and swarmed Margie, pinning her to the ground.

"As I thought, they would've worked if you were wearing your disguise. They must've been programmed for my voice and facial features. Thus, they work for me and not you."

"This… this isn't fair!" She started beating her fists on the ground like a spoiled child. "It's not fair, not fair, Not Fair, NOT FAIR!"

"We're not done yet!" Numbuh 4 said. "We've gotta find the device that girlified everyone!"

"You go alone. I'm not boyish enough. I'd probably be affected," Lucy said.

"Right!" said Numbuh 4, and began to traverse around the house. "Now, if things got less girly when we got to that room, then if things get more girly, then it should lead me to…." He eventually came across a shocking pink room with a huge tower with a heart on top. "Bingo!"

Numbuh 4 stepped forward, but felt himself being pushed back. He also noticed his shirt was turning pink, his hair starting to grow longer. "Argh! Even this much girly's too much for me! Gotta hurry!" He forced his way into the tower's base, getting more and more like a girl as he went. He soon put an improvised nacho cheese bomb on the device, which itself was starting to morph into a wine and cheese plate. He pushed the detonator and the Girlifying Device was destroyed. The wave of femininity receded, turning the estate into its original, gender-neutral decor; the KND operatives into their original personalities; and even the members of the former "I Hate Rainbow Monkeys" club back to their metal loving ways.

The robot army forced the teen Margie back into the time machine, returning her to her future.

"She might be back at some point," said Lucy, "so I'm gonna try to raise the present Margie into a real feminist, just so she doesn't try this stunt again."

"Good idea. Don't want any more future problems," Numbuh 4 said. "Say, what'cha gonna do about the show?"

"Eh, some residue will still remain, but we can edit it out in post-production. I'll just put the show on hiatus until we can scrub the affective episodes."

"But with the show being so over the top girly, what can we do?"

"Eh, salvage what we can. Girly doesn't mean they were bad plotlines, you'll just have to edit those episodes. As for the rest, well, I'll just use the tried and true way of undoing things in TV Land…"

The next episode of the show opened up with Library Laughs Rainbow Monkey waking up from a dream of the last few episodes.

"Man, that last season was we-e-e-ird," Nubmuh 5 said.

"You tellin' me?" Nubmuh 2 said. "Why'd they have to make that bad guy into a good guy? He was a lot better as a villain."

"You did delete the mind-control frequency episodes like Numbuh 4 said, right?" Numbuh 1 said.

"Yep, all gone."

"Excellent. Thank you, Numbuh 4, for doing all this."

"Darn straight!" Numbuh 4 interjected.

"Eh, just don't let it get to your head."

"Well, I don't think anyone will miss those pieces of crud."

"GU-U-U-UYS!" Numbuh 3 yelled, bursting out of her room. "Where's all the last few episodes of Rainbow Monkeys! I wanna watch them but they're gone!"

"They'll rerun, we'll get them then," Numbuh 1 said.

"Yay!"

"Guess she's too girly to be affected," Numbuh 4 said.

"You two really are opposites, aren't you?" Numbuh 1 said.

"Maybe that's why you're such a good match!" Numbuh 2 said, giggling.

"Wh… I don't like her THAT way!" Numbuh 4 said. "That'd be more of a reason why we're not anything more than friends, right?"

"Oh, Wally, it's okay!" Numbuh 3 said, hugging Numbuh 4. "It's okay to like girly things!"

"Eh… whatever, Kuki."

Years later, everyone gathered around their TVs. The latest girls show was on, but boys of all ages joined too. No one judged anyone for their taste in media, they all had their own reasons for liking it.

And both genders were at last, equal.

End Transmission

* * *

 **With the publication of this story, we have reached the last of the original deviantART run. Around this point, I fell into a sort of depression and took a break from writing stories for a while. I eventually returned years later, after spending some time as an internet reviewer. With the skills I had seen from analyzing many works of fiction and television, I returned to writing with the next story in this two-pack.**

 **Now for the customary notes and annotations.**

 **"Numbuh 2 and 4 were watching the newest Japanese Cartoon about a loudmouth ninja when she burst through the door." A reference to Naruto, which would be airing on Toonami around the time the story takes place.**

 **"Once upon a time," the female narrator began, "there was a council of four Rainbow Monkeys." To anyone who has not figured it out yet, this is a takeoff of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, specifically the phenomena of the fandom of the show. It'd be really fun for Rainbow Monkeys to do something similar.**

 **"And what's all this doing in my history textbook?" A reference to an FIM parody, Camaraderie is Supernatural. I only regret at the time I couldn't think of a better joke than they did.**

 **"and we have concluded that its creator, Lucy Fur," A bit of a roundabout reference. The creator of FiM is Lauren Faust. Lucy Fur is a take off her last name, being a pun off 'Lucifer'.**

 **"** **It only gets better. The season premiere for Season 2 has the guy who plays Puck from Gargoyles voicing a guy who's just like Puck! Flippin! Puck!" Season 2 of FiM begins with an episode featuring a character voiced by John DeLancie. DeLancie is famous for playing Q in Star Trek: The Next Generation, and Discord has many of his mannerisms and personality traits, albeit more cartoony. To bring the reference around full-circle, Puck's actor, Brent Spiner, also played a character in Star Trek: TNG, Data.**

 **"** **Hello, you've reached the Kid-Tacular Kid's Channel! How can I help you?" See the Season 1 episode CABLE-TV for more info on that. Given the exclusive distribution of many cartoons in this era, it's not too surprising that the network previously responsible for airing three different spinoffs of Rainbow Monkeys would pick up the newest show, too.**

 **"** **THERE** ** _IS_** **NO TEN, YOU BUTTHEAD!" Based off a gag from Red Vs. Blue.**

 **""I'm not the girl you're looking for!" Lucy said in a firm, more gender-neutral voice." Star Wars, natch.**

 **"** **Look. When I was a little girl, I used to have some older generation Rainbow Monkeys. But I didn't like the show that was made for it, so I made up my own adventures for them, sending them on epic quests to save the world." Lauren Faust, who Fur is based off, did much the same as a little girl.**

 **"** **You're not a feminist! You're a misandrist! All we true feminists want is equality!" Lauren Faust believes the same way, and wrote an entire episode of The Powerpuff Girls (another Cartoon Network show) that criticized false feminism.**

 **"You just want to place yourself over everyone else,** ** _Margie_** **!" And with that, we have a return of a rarely-used villain. Margie has a lot of potential in her kinds of storytelling, and I'd like to use her at least one more time.**

 **"** **FOR YOU! You're just making things better for you!" South Park, natch.**


	2. Operation GAMES

**-Pre-Reading Notes-**

 **Hypothetical Voice Cast:**

 **Jack of Games: Tim Curry**

* * *

 **Now Loading  
Kids Next Door Mission**

 **Operation: G.A.M.E.S.**

 **Gambling**  
 **Adversary**  
 **Makes**  
 **Entertainment**  
 **Scary**

 **Writing Operatives:**  
 **Lieutenant Darkton**

 **Original Mission Director:  
Mr. Warburton**

 **Special Mission Credit:  
Araki-Gunsou**

Numbuh 362 sat in the main office of the Moonbase, answering phone calls everywhere. "Yes, I know she's gone, no I don't know where she is! I know he's missing, I can't find him! No, I don't know where he is, I'm working on it!" Numbuh 362 growled from the stress, then let out a shout. "WOULD YOU GUYS JUST SHUT UP!? I NEED MY BRAIN TO FIND THEM!" After panting from stress for a while, she began to signal Numbuh 63.5. "Now let's hope 63.5's still here…"

Thankfully, he was. "Numbuh 362, Ma'am! Anything you need?"

"Can you give me a list of all the operatives who went missing lately?"

"Sure thing! Numbuhs 86, 60, 44a, 44b, and 78 have all disappeared within the last week."

"There doesn't seem to be any pattern to the takings. I'm gonna send in a top elite squadron in order to recapture the missing operatives."

"…so, you're sending Sector V again, huh?"

Numbuh 362 blushed. "Uh… yes."

"Why do you send them all the time, do you like 'em or something?"

The blush grew bigger. "NO! Aheh, no, I mean, I do like 'em, but, they're like, really reliable and do their jobs really well."

"I think you've got a thing for someone in that group. So what are you? A _Chubby_ Chaser? _Aussie_ Attracted? Do you _blush_ around _baldies_?"

"END TRANSMISSION, OVER AND OUT!" She cut the feed to static. "Oh, aheh, right… the sending out of the guys…"

"All of them? Gone?" Numbuh 4 repeated.

"And we don't know where they are, either," Numbuh 362 relayed. "We checked on the vacation departments, they just seem to be completely missing."

"There's an incredibly high chance they were captured by some kind of enemy," Numbuh 1 said. "I'm going to split us up and look for places they could be."

"Thank you, guys. Numbuh 362 out."

"Alright. Check places you frequent often, as well as any enemy locations you can access. Kids Next Door, spread out for reconnaissance battlestations!"

The search was on, as each operative looked for the missing operatives. Numbuh 1 started by interrogating members of the Arctic Prison. After enduring a tomato thrown at his head, he got a negative response. Numbuh 2 asked The Kid and the patrons at Lime Ricky's. While they didn't know, Wade got a prank call, which lightened the mood. Numbuh 3 asked her classmates and people at Toys Be We, no luck, but she got a new Rainbow Monkey out of the deal. Numbuh 4 stormed into the Delightful Mansion to ask. He was chased out with lasers following him so he didn't get an answer. Finally, Numbuh 5 used Cree's information to find a mini-mart prison. No luck in the holding cells.

At last, the five operatives sat down at the Food Court of a nearby mall. "Ugh, I can't believe none of those sources worked!" Numbuh 2 said.

"Well, this place has a lot of kids and adults here, so we can probably find 'em here," Numbuh 5 said.

"That, and we can catch up on some grub!" Numbuh 4 said excitedly.

"Alright, but just remember that we're on the clock," Numbuh 1 said. "Numbuh 3, if you go and ask the people here, I can order something for you. Same thing as always?"

"Yup!" Numbuh 3 said. "Catch ya later!" She then pranced off, milk carton with the missing people's photos on standby.

Just as they were about to order, they saw someone was in front of them. He looked like the man on the Jack of Spades in a card game, with a spiky hat, pointy moustache, pale skin, and a black and gold outfit with red accents. "Mushroom Pizza, please," he said in a Cajun accent.

Numbuh 4 gagged. "Adults. I'll never get 'em."

The man sat at a table on his own, where he had set down a book. Numbuh 3 came up to him with the milk carton. "S'cuse me, Mr.? Have you seen these guys?"

The man smiled. "Sure have."

The other operatives took note and moved to his table. "Awesome!" "Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!"

"I told you everything would come together," Numbuh 1 said. "So, where are they?"

"Now, now," the man said. "If you wanna find those guys, I'm gonna need somethin' in return."

"Alright. Here, have my lunch money."

"Come now, I don't want money for this."

"Alright," Numbuh 2 said. "Here, have a deck of cards. It'll go well with your face!" Numbuh 2 chuckled.

The man shot them a mean look. "That's not funny. And I don't want _things_." He smiled. "Or at least, not material things."

Numbuh 1 got suspicious. "What do you mean?"

The man took out a poker chip and started flipping it like a coin. "The name's Jack. Jack of Games. I'm a lot of things, but I'm something you kids don't know about." Jack did a trick shot with a chip, and caught it perfectly. "I'm a gambler."

"Come again?" Numbuh 1 said.

"Wait… Numbuh 5 knows what he's talkin' 'bout," Numbuh 5 said. "I heard stories of people who go around the Adult Occupation Zones like Las Vegas, trading things in exchange for games. Usually money or items."

"Smart girl," Jack said. "Though my case is a little… different." Jack flipped the chip in the air again. "I like to collect…" he grabbed it, and showed its face to the kids. On it was Numbuh 86's face! "…souls!"

The reaction was an appropriate one of shock.

"Take Lil' 86 here, for example. We were playin' a game o' Red Light Green Light, and eventually… she stopped!" He took out a chip with Numbuh 60's face on it. "Or Lil' 60 over here. I caught him in a game o' Telephone, and eventually his number came up!"

Numbuh 2 growled. "This guy's a monster…."

"Of course, you can get them back. You play a game with me of your choice, and if you win, I'll free one of the souls. _But_ … if I win, you have to give me something of equal value, and if we're gamblin' for someone's soul, then I guess the only price worthy is… _your_ soul!"

Numbuh 4 stepped up. "Fine! I'll take you on! One, two, three, four, I declare a Thumb War!"

Numbuh 4 and Jack locked into combat with their hands, Numbuh 4 strutting his stuff, while Jack was mostly dodging.

"You shouldn't've done this, ya know. Ya ever heard o' The Blister?"

"Yeah, I totally have. And I think the stories of him, or should I say _you_ , are overrated."

"Oh yeah? I'll have you know I won six consecutive games against the top school bullies, _and_ several Thumb War Tournaments! I've got quite a reputation!"

"Well, you're only playin' the kids' leagues. Have you ever beaten any _adults?_ "

"Yes I have! Many, many times! I'm basically the world champ!"

"Oh really? Well, answer me this: If you're so good…" Jack smiled evilly, "… _how come you lost just now_?"

Numbuh 4 looked at his hand, and found that Jack had won the game fair and square.

"What the? How did you… but I… I…" Numbuh 4 started coughing, practically hacking up a lung from stress. However, on the third cough, he coughed up a white gas and fell to the floor.

Numbuh 5 ran to him, and looked at his eyes. They were completely blank. "He's out cold!"

The gas from Numbuh 4 formed into a poker chip with his face on it, which Jack picked up. "Well, looks like Lil' 4 is… all hands!"

"YOU JERKFACE!" Numbuh 3 screamed as she pounced at Jack, grabbing his shirt collar. "You were talking while he was playing! He couldn't pay attention to you! THAT'S CHEATING!"

"Do you recall what you were doin' September 5th, 1991?"

"I… I wasn't even born yet." Numbuh 3 let go.

Jack stood up and adjusted his collar. "See, at the time, I was a camp counselor, and a lil' boy challenged me to a game of Camouflage. Needless to say, he got outta sight!"

"Where are you going with this?" Numbuh 1 said.

Jack smiled. "His brother said the same thing, callin' me a cheater. One Floor Made of Lava later, and, well, he got burned!"

"I get it!" Numbuh 5 said. "You're workin' for Father, aren'tcha?"

"Ah, kids. They only think of the simple reasons for why people do things. So some guy comes around hurtin' kids and suddenly they all think everyone who hates 'em is one of those guys. Never considered any _other_ reasons for doin' the things we do."

"You don't work for him?" Numbuh 1 said.

"Nope. I don't do this for anyone. I do it 'cause it's fun, and makes me _veeeeery_ rich."

"Alright, buster, you wanna be that way?" Numbuh 5 exclaimed. "We'll play by _your_ rules! Here's the deal: you and Numbuh 5 are gonna play Jacks. Pick one jack, throw the others on the floor, then try and keep the jack you picked from touching the others. Got it?! I bet my soul!"

"Good bet, kid! But not very smart."

"You go first, pal. Here's the jacks we'll be usin'." Numbuh 5 handed some ordinary-looking jacks.  
Jack picked his jack of choice and tossed the rest to the floor. The pattern was rather ordinary, and he was able to place them to the ground just fine. "Your move."

"Sure thing!" Numbuh 5 smiled and pressed a button hidden on the jack. In reality, these were no ordinary jacks. They were…

 **Kids Next Door J.A.C.K. (Jigamabob Allows Cheating Kooly)**

…and while they looked like regular jacks, their true nature became known when Numbuh 5 tossed the ones she didn't pick to the floor. The J.A.C.K.s seemed to instinctively avoid each other, making it easy for Numbuh 5 to simply drop her chosen J.A.C.K. and win.

Numbuh 2 perked up. He then whispered to Numbuh 1 and 3. "Ooooh, Abby's using the new weapon!"

"You planned for this?" Numbuh 1 whispered.

"Of course! Always be prepared. Those things emit electromagnetic frequencies. When she did it, they were set to the same polarity, meaning they'd repel each other." Jack began his move. "Of course, the next time they're used, half of them emit different frequencies, meaning that when that guy uses them, all they'll do is…"

Shockingly, the J.A.C.K.s Jack threw did the same thing they did when Numbuh 5 used them.

"…split apart? That's not supposed to happen!"

"Your turn, Dear Abby!" Jack taunted.

Numbuh 5 turned to Numbuh 1, who responded, "He didn't make any sudden moves. None that I could see."

"Gotcha. I'll be careful," Numbuh 5 said.

Numbuh 5 pressed the button again, hoping to reset them. She then chose her J.A.C.K. and tossed the rest to the air.

To her horror, the J.A.C.K.s, instead of separating, fused together into a perfect square with no holes, making victory utterly impossible. "But… but I…"

" _Your turn_." Jack said menacingly.

"How did… how did he…" Numbuh 5 turned to the others. "You SURE he didn't pull a fast one?!"

"Certain. Something went wrong."

"Well," Numbuh 2 said while blushing, "to be perfectly honest, Numbuh 1 was talkin' to me at the time. He might've been distracted."

Numbuh 5 looked at her situation of utter defeat and started breathing heavily. "Oh crud oh man… oh crud oh man… _oh crud oh man… OH CRUD OH MAN_ …" Her breathing led to her spewing the gas from her mouth and her falling to the floor unconscious.

"In her mind, Mrs. Lincon already admitted defeat, which is all I need to take the soul!" Jack said, picking up the resultant chip. "Lil' 5 fell down… and broke her crown!"

"Why you little!" Numbuh 2 charged at Jack, knocking him down to the floor. He then aimed a S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R. at him at point blank range. "Give me a good reason not to just shuffle your face!"

"Okay, one, that's not funny." Jack smiled his snakelike smile. "Two, if anything happens to me, why I won't be able to turn these guys back to normal. But hey, at least there'd still be three of ya, instead of _zero_."

Numbuh 2 growled.

Numbuh 1, meanwhile, picked one of the J.A.C.K.s up off the floor, and noticed something about it. "So that's how he did it."

Numbuh 2 rushed up to Numbuh 1. "You see somethin' Numbuh 1?"

"Fingerprints. Two different kinds. One of them I know is Numbuh 5, but the other's Jack's. And both of them are on the attract switch. Come to think of it, I did see him fiddle with the Jack a little before he tossed it. It's possible he found out what Numbuh 5 did and cycled it back to repel mode."

"Heh, with that kinda intelligence, you should go to college," Jack said. "That is, if you cared for regular school."

"Enough talk, Jack. You and I are going to settle this in a game of We Didn't Playtest This At All."

"Card game, eh? I actually consider those kinds of games to be my strongest ones! But if you're so eager to lose your soul, you at least gotta bet over it."

"Very well, I bet my soul."

"Good choice."

Numbuh 2 and 3 huddled together. "He's crazy!" Numbuh 3 said.

"Yeah, crazy enough to get the job done, I hope," Numbuh 2 said.

"Now hold on, Jack," Numbuh 1 said. "Before we begin, I'd like to show you something: Pure and abject terror. Shuffle the cards."

Jack did so. "Okay, now what?"

"Pick three cards from different places in the deck. Don't let me see what you picked."

Jack picked one from the top.

"Let me guess, your card is a blank card." Indeed it was.

Jack tried again, from the middle.

"Five points or win if wearing red." That was, too.

Jack looked confused, then tried again.

"All players lose the game." Ditto.

Jack stared at Numbuh 1 dirtily.

"I'll read the next five in order from the top. Instant win, instant loss, bomb, banana peel, loss if one says 'I do.'"

Jack flipped the cards from the top. Nigel's predictions came true.

"Whoa! Cool move, Numbuh 1!" Numbuh 3 said.

"How'd ya do that? He shuffled the cards, not you," Numbuh 2 said.

"My eyes are attuned for shuffled cards. I can tell you all the cards in order from the top, and who each card will go to, like the game I have no chance of winning right now."

Jack smiled awkwardly. "That's not a bad trick," he said. "I'm gonna have to be more careful how I shuffle these, next time."

"You don't get it, do you? There's a reason I picked this game as the one we'd play. You see, card games may be your specialty, but they're mine, too."

Jack paused. "We'll see."

"Use this deck. It's factory sealed. The Chaos Cards are not in it, either."

Jack opened it up and began shuffling.

"We'll be using this dice to determine the dealer. Do you want 1, 2 and 3, or 4, 5 and 6?"

"Well, since I have myself a 4 and a 5, I'll go with the latter three."

"That makes me first three, then." Nigel rolled the dice in his hand, and threw it all around the room, it ricocheted on the walls and scenery until it landed in the floor, revealing a 6, even.

"Looks like I'm the dealer. I'll just have to shuffle these where you can't see them." After doing so, he began handing out cards. "Yours. Mine. Yours. Mine. Yours…"

Numbuh 1 aimed his S.P.I.C.E.R. at Jack's head.

"Numbuh 1, what're you doing?!" Numbuh 2 exclaimed. "We need him to get everyone back!"

"I just figured since he wasn't playing fair, I wouldn't either!" Numbuh 1 said.

"Looked like he was playing pretty fair to me," Numbuh 3 said, puzzled.

"Take a look at the deck. He's aiming it higher every time so that he can see what card he's getting next. He's also dealing selectively from only slightly near the top, two cards at a time, so he can give each of us what _he_ wants, like _giving me three instant losses and him a full score!_ "

"You dirty kid! You pulled a gun on me!" Jack spat.

"Well, I didn't pull the trigger, did I?"

"Hmph. Pretty cool how you saw through my cheating. I'll have to play more carefully. Oooh, this is gonna be an interesting match."

"I don't think that's even all your cheating." He pulled out a different dice. "Pick a number between 1 and 6."

"Five."

Nigel threw the dice to the ground. It was five. "That was a loaded dice. It would only land on a one!" He then handed out a coin. "Heads or tails?"

"Tails."

Nigel tossed the coin into the air. It landed on tails. "That was a trick coin. It'd only ever land on heads! Now, I don't bet my soul for this game, Rock-Paper-Scissors!"

They played three rounds, each using different calls, Jack having the winning one each time.

"I knew there was something about you!"

"Well, cat's out of the bag. I have a bit of a superpower. I have good luck. _Great_ luck! So great, everything just goes my way all the time!"

"And that's why you've never lost a game."

"You're the first person I know who found that out. Now, the question is… _why do you keep trying to play_?"

"This time I think it's going to be different. In fact, I know it will." He turned towards Numbuh 3. "Numbuh 3, I need you to be the dealer."

"What?! Why me?" Numbuh 3 said.

"You've always been an impartial dealer when we play card games at the treehouse. Think of it as something like that. I just need some good luck to counteract Jack's absurd luck."

"Okay, I'll do my best!"

"No, you don't get it, do you?" Numbuh 1 got in extremely close range. "If you fail this, if something goes wrong, all of us will never see our families, each other, or _anyone_ ever again. You need to do everything in your power to make sure I _do not lose_. Got it?"

Numbuh 3 paused. She then gave a determined look. "Yes sir!"

"Now you've got it."

"Counteracting my lucky charm, eh?" Jack said. "We'll see whose mojo works better!"

"I'm also changing the details of this game. We'll be making it into a betting match. At any point during your turn, if you feel like it, you can add additional people to your wager. But this only works for people I and my friends are mutual friends with, or in your case, your collection. You must have an equal number of souls bet to match the bet the other party does." Numbuh 1 put out three blank poker chips. "These chips represent me, Numbuh 3, and Numbuh 2. Your bet."

"I getcha, you want me to bet with your lost lil' friends! Sorry, but this game doesn't work that way. I'm stickin' you with Jimmy Whitecoat, Alice Hunter, and Jeffery Mills."

"I… don't know any of those three."

"Exactly."

Numbuh 3 finished shuffling. "All ready!"

"Hit me with three!" Numbuh 1 said. Numbuh 3 did so.

"Three for me." Jack said. Likewise.

"Well, let's begin. I'll go first. First! I place down this bomb! If we get four of these, everyone loses! And as for my second card, I give myself five points!"

"Sounds simple enough. Alright, I'll play this card! It gives someone who's wearing red a victory, and since I'm doin' so right now, you have to pay up!"

"Don't push it, Jack. It says "predominantly red," and your outfit's mostly black. It doesn't count!"

"Maybe. But I still get five points. Two more of these and I win!"

"Alright. Now! In addition to my remaining chips…" Numbuh 1 put down two more. "I bet Numbuhs 10 and 83."

"Uh, uh, uh. How many kids do ya think I have? No, you're getting Lava Boy and Camo Boy."

"Alright! Rock Paper Scissors!" The two both drew scissors. "Your luck is working just as usual. You knew that if you didn't play scissors you'd lose the game."

"Smart kid. I'm actually gonna miss you."

After Numbuh 3 dealt him his card. He began to think something was off.

"Right then, I wanna make a raise. I'm feelin' merciful, you can have Lil' 4 and Lil' 5. But, you still have to give me someone."

"Very well." Numbuh 1 drew more chips. "I bet Numbuhs 84 and 362."

" _362_?! That's our Supreme Leader!" Numbuh 2 blurted. "Numbuh 1, if you lose, we won't have anyone to lead us!"

"Trust me, Numbuh 2. I know I can win."

"Well you're wrong," Jack said. "My next card is a bomb! Two more to go! And with my next one, I give myself another five points!"

"Alright. In that case, I play this card. It… does nothing. Nothing at all."

"Running out of good cards, eh?"

"I'm working on it. _Numbuh 3_! What did I tell you about losing everything?!"

"Oh, sorry!" Numbuh 3 dealt him a card.

On that card, Numbuh 1 began thinking to himself. "This hand… it's terrible! And all this with Numbuh 3 shuffling to help me win! Wait… what if…"

Numbuh 3 looked in Jack's direction and smiled evilly. _"_ _Mister Jack,"_ she thought, _"_ _it's just like you asked. He's got a total garbage hand."_

 _"_ _Nice lil' girl."_ Jack thought to himself. _"_ _Nigel may not realize it, but my powers of luck are so great, I can actually alter other people's actions to make me the winner. So no matter who he chose he'd end up with a worthless hand, even if he chose a good friend!"_ He spoke out loud again. "Imma raise you the missing kids: 44a and b, 78, 60, and 86, and in addition to that, I raise you my soul! That's six chips total!"

"Numbuh 1? What're you going to do?" Numbuh 2 said.

"Play along," Numbuh 1 said. "I'm betting mother and father, along with Joey. I'm also assuming you have no objections to betting Tommy?"

"Well… if ya gotta…"

"That leaves one left. I guess it'll have to go to Numbuh 5's friend Maurice."

"Should've just quit, boy!" Jack said. "'Cause my next card is bomb number three! One more of those and you lose! And, in addition to that… I play a No Dealing card! One of the cards in my hand is the last five points I need! Your hand's terrible, I can tell without lookin'! I'm gonna get my biggest soul pile, and you'll be sleepin' with the fishes! HMHMHMHMHM! So…" Jack glared at Numbuh 1. "Your move, Nigel."

Nigel sat still. He then smiled. "You shouldn't have ended your turn there. I'd like to make another bet!"

"Now what could you possibly have that I could want-"

Suddenly, a huge pile of chips spilled from Numbuh 1's sleeves. "I bet the entire Kids Next Door."

Numbuh 3 gasped. Numbuh 2 followed suit. "N-NUMBUH 1! WHAT'S _WRONG_ WITH YOU?! You're gonna destroy everything we've worked for, bet this entire generation all on a CHILDREN'S CARD GAME?!"

"Yes, but in return, he has to give me something of equal value. And the only thing left… _is his entire collection_!"

"Alright, ya little punk! I'll take that bet!" Jack slammed the book of chips on the table. "But I'm only taking it 'cause I know you're gonna lose. I know you have a bomb in there! Everyone knows it!"

"Yes… I do have a bomb. But, I also have an Everyone Wins card. Which means that if I play that one, we'll just start over. BUT, if I play the bomb, we'll all lose everything we've worked for, INCLUDING YOU!"

Jack reeled back in shock. "No… this can't be right! His hand, it's worthless! Did… did he work with her to see where the cards went? And that third card, what is it?"

"You like games, Jack? How about a game of Eeenie Meenie Miney Moe?!" Numbuh 1 put his finger over the two cards. "EENIE! MEENIE! MINEY! MOE!"

Jack began to feel stress, he started breathing heavily.

"CATCH! A TIGER! BY! ITS TOE!"

Could he lose this time? Did the kid have an ace in the hole for once?

"IF! IT HOLLERS! LET IT! GO!"

Would he have another chance? Or was he done for good? What kind of monster was this kid?!

" _EENIE_!"

His breathing grew heavier.

" _MEENIE_!"

Heavier…

" _MINEY_!"

Until Jack blew out the white gas of his own, then collapsed on the mushroom pizza on the table, knocking it over with all the chips.

The white chips that belonged to Numbuh 1 vanished into dust. Meanwhile, the book began to shake violently, jumping on the floor. The chips inside it let loose all at once, turning into beams of light headed back to their respective bodies, two of them going back to Numbuhs 4 and 5.

And the white gas from Jack's mouth? Turned into a chip with his face on it.

Numbuh 2 stared shocked. "Y… you won?" His shocked look turned into a large smile and he started jumping for joy. "YOU WON! YOU WON! YOU WON, YOU CRAZY JERK, YOU WON!"

"NUMBUH 1!" Numbuh 3 squealed. She got down on her knees and begged. "I'm really sorry for dealing you a bad hand! I couldn't help it, I wasn't me, I mean, I was just doing things and I didn't even realize what I was doing until it was too late, but then it was too late and…"

"Numbuh 3. It's alright," Numbuh 1 said. "You did good."

"I… I did?"

"Yup. After all, you gave me this!" Numbuh 1 pulled out one of his cards: An Extra Life!

"An EXTRA LIFE?!" Numbuh 2 said. "But… but that meant…"

"Exactly. I could pull one other card after I used the bomb, so I'd use that one to make it so I win anyway."

"You…" Numbuh 2 grabbed Numbuh 1 by the shoulders and shaked. "DON'T YOU EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT, NUMBUH 1! I was worried sick!"

"Hey, relax! It's me. This is what I do."

Numbuh 5, having woken up, found the Jack Chip. "Wh… what happened to that guy?"

"He fell for a tactical trap. Hook, Line and Sinker."

 **End Transmission**

Numbuh 1, upon returning home, got out a deck of cards. "Well, since no one will play with me, because… you know, I think I'll enjoy a nice round of solitaire." He shuffled the cards. "I lose." Again. "I lose." Again. "I lose." Again. "Oooh! I win!" Again. "I lose." This of course went on ad infinitum.

* * *

 **We have now reached what I refer to as the "Modern Era" of the continuity, essentially wrapping up the two-pack of episodes started by GIRLY with a filler story before moving into more substantial material. This is when I consider my skills as a writer to have improved dramatically. With everything I've said, this is the first of the new "Parody Episodes", which reference a specific story. It is at this point that I decided what kind of tone I wanted this series to have, and how to balance comedy and drama. The effects of all this won't be felt until the next story, but that's a tale for later.**

 **Now the annotations.**

 **"Special Mission Credit: Araki-Gunsou" As of now, whenever you see a "Special Mission Credit" position, you know that any given story is a parody of another work of fiction. It is essentially the same as a "with regards to" or "inspired by the work of", the credit given to the one who produced the work. Araki-Gunsou, or "Sergeant Araki" in English, is Hirohiko Araki, notable for his work on JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, of which this work lifts a specific arc from that manga, the battle with Daniel J D'Arby.**

 **"…so, you're sending Sector V again, huh?" Of course she is! They do everything; they're the main characters!**

 **"Just as they were about to order, they saw someone was in front of them. He looked like the man on the Jack of Spades in a card game, with a spiky hat, pointy moustache, pale skin, and a black and gold outfit with red accents. "Mushroom Pizza, please," he said in a Cajun accent." Jack of Games is a homage to Daniel J D'Arby himself, a decision done because I needed something to keep my skills fresh, and thus adapted a story into KND style to keep myself from getting rusty. His specific voice is a reference to Antfish's Abridged version of D'Arby, given it was my closest representation of what he could've sounded like in English, as the 2012 anime had not been dubbed at this point when I wrote this.**

 **"Numbuh 4 stepped up. "Fine! I'll take you on! One, two, three, four, I declare a Thumb War!"" Numbuh 4 is intended to take the role of J.P. Polnareff in this portion, a person who challenges the gambler in a simple game, and loses to show the severity of the situation. In addition, the usage of children's games provides the element of bathos to the stories I write for this fandom, over how silly children's concepts are taken to extremes, where these elements are presented as dramatic when they quite clearly are not. This is how I maintain the mix of drama and comedy in the series.**

 **"Numbuh 4 started coughing, practically hacking up a lung from stress. However, on the third cough, he coughed up a white gas and fell to the floor." Again, I had not seen the TV version of the D'Arby battle, so I was most familiar with the OVA and works based off it like the Abridged Series. When D'Arby is defeated in those versions, he coughs up what looks like smoke from stress. Since Stands do not exist in this universe (or as far as we have seen), D'Arby's method of using his stand to morph souls into poker chips cannot be used, so the coughing fit was used to provide a happy balance. By the way, had I written this more recently, I would've replaced the poker chips with playing cards patterned after Go Fish decks, each captured Operative having their number represent them and with a horrified look on the face. Other characters would get the remaining Jack, Queen, King, Ace, and Joker respectively, based on their personality.**

 **"** **Alright, buster, you wanna be that way?" Numbuh 5 exclaimed. "We'll play by** ** _your_** **rules! Here's the deal: you and Numbuh 5 are gonna play Jacks. Pick one jack, throw the others on the floor, then try and keep the jack you picked from touching the others. Got it?! I bet my soul!" Numbuh 5 here takes the position of Joseph Joestar, a person who uses a game of tactical thinking and luck in order to win, while simultaneously cheating themselves. What this character does not realize, however, is the gambler is a far better cheater than they are, and they lose their lives to the enemy. Amusingly, Ben Disken, Numbuh 1's voice actor, portrayed the younger incarnation of the character in the English dub of the series, using a voice exactly the same as the one he uses for Nigel.**

 **"** **Enough talk, Jack. You and I are going to settle this in a game of We Didn't Playtest This At All." Numbuh 1, in this case, represents Jotaro Kujo, the one who defeats the gambler in a card game by bluffing his way to victory, despite all advantages being in the gambler's favor. The specific choice of game references my own experience with the game, drawing from a real scenario I had experienced when playing against another user. Initially, the choice of game was to be Go Fish, with Numbuhs 3 and 2 distracting Jack to play things closer to the original, but once I had my experience with this game, I knew it could be used to add my own spin to the tale. That We Didn't Playtest This At All is such a wacky children's game adds to the bathos, but it's fairly obvious in some of Jack's lines that he is referring to Go Fish, similar to his previous puns.**

 **"** **You've always been an impartial dealer when we play card games at the treehouse. Think of it as something like that. I just need some good luck to counteract Jack's absurd luck." In hindsight, it's amusing to me that Numbuh 1 would call on Numbuh 3 to get good luck, seeing as how she usually gets the team in trouble. However, I think it actually works out well here because her bad luck is potentially rubbing off on Jack, which would counteract his superpowers.**

 **"Numbuh 1, upon returning home, got out a deck of cards. "Well, since no one will play with me, because… you know, I think I'll enjoy a nice round of solitaire." He shuffled the cards. "I lose." Again. "I lose." Again. "I lose." Again. "Oooh! I win!" Again. "I lose." This of course went on ad infinitum." This stinger is of course intended to represent the end credits stingers in the show itself. One potential problem I saw of giving Numbuh 1 eyes attuned for shuffled cards was it almost made him too powerful. To counteract this, nobody will play cards with him because of this, and this segment plays off of the power to make it into a gag.**


	3. Next Special Preview

**Incoming Transmission**

The Kids Next Door have been dealt a heavy blow in their war. When a routine mission goes awry, Numbuh 5 is turned into a teenager, with her evil sister Cree acting as her personal mentor.

In order to counteract this new friend-turned-enemy, Sector V enlists an unlikely source of help; four heroic teenage rebels, ones possessing incredible power and skill.

Can Sector V break the spell on their friend and bring her back to their side? Find out in the epic double-length special: strongOperation SISTERS/strong! It's an action thrill ride you're sure to never forget! Unless you're _too old_ to remember...!

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